The universe is full of life forms that look, and are, just like us, except there’s something weird about their foreheads.
When we (non-physicists) think about the Big Bang, we visualize the "explosion" as an expanding sphere of space-time containing all that is. In other words, we picture it as though we were observing from outside of space-time—something maybe God could do, but no mortal observer. So, insofar as I'm working on the problem (yes, yes, Dr. Hawking, I'll get back to you as soon as I can), I'm trying to imagine it from inside the damn thing.
By the way, I'm also developing a new religion. Jesus, why should I be the only one not doing so? Over the past decade or two we’ve welcomed to the fold Bobby Henderson's Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Carl Sagan's Invisible Green Dragon, the Invisible Pink Unicorn, Shatnerology…Anyway, I should begin taking applications for high ecclesiastical positions within a few months. It'll be a Godless and monsterless religion, but no less inspirational or nourishing then those of false gods like the Spaghetti Monster. (Indeed, wait till you taste our gourmet Communion wafers!)
On a related matter: If it were today—well, it is today, obviously, so what I mean is, if the Apollo space program were under way today, would anyone but an evangelical Christian be allowed to be the first person to set foot on the moon? And would Neil Armstong have been allowed not to mention God in his foot-setting statement?
Where but in Beowulf could you find a word like "undoomed" (unfaegne)? (As in, "Fate often saves an undoomed warrior when his courage endures.")
Speaking of unfaegne warriors: Instead of Bush having to add all those signing statements to the bills he signs, deal with pesky members of Congress, get court warrants for spying on Americans, leave office in 2008, and so on…couldn't Congress just pass an enabling act, like the Reichstag did in 1933?
Is there any doubt whatsoever that "vegans" like being called "vegans" because it makes them sound like beings from a far more advanced civilization elsewhere in the galaxy?